My Life’s Despair is an American Gothic Doom metal band from Southern California .

My Life’s Despair was conceived in 1994 by Larshus. His primary instrument is drums. A personal love of beautiful depressing and heavy music created a will to learn other instruments and record as a solo project. Larshus felt most other musicians in the metal realm were not interested in writing down tempo music that strayed out of the classical metal formula.

Larshus continued to play drums and tour with numerous other bands for the next 10 plus years.

Mourning 1994 (Melodic Death Metal)
Autumns End 1995 (Black Metal)
Tri-Lambda 1996 (Joke Power-pop)
The Secular 1996 – 2000 (Gothic Industrial)
Down In The Lab – 2000 – 2004 (Electro Gothic Rock)

In 1995, the demo Autumn’s End was released on cassette. This was the most atmospheric submission My Life’s Despair has created to date, building mostly on classical elements of piano and gothic synths with atmospheric elements of wind, rain, and thunder. There were no vocals and no electric guitars on this demo.

1. Blackness in Binary
2. Cold Winds of Love
3. Dark Skies
4. Rain of Depression

The second demo in 1997, Tears of Light, was once again, only released on cassette. This was a straight forward submission of doom metal.

1. She is Haunting Me
2. Bitter Love
3. I Bleed For You
4. Never Wanted to Let You Go
5. Always
6. Is it You?

In 2001, a single song demo was released.

1. Agony Under the Dark Sky

In 2009 the EP, Love, Sorrow, and Suicide was released and distributed by Catapult music. This was the first era of video. Several videos were created and placed on YouTube. One in particular, All I See (The Bridge), received recognition as it accumulated over 100 thousands hits. The song was inspired by the documentary, The Bridge, which was about suicide jumpers from Golden Gate Bridge. The video was pulled for being too graphic. The video showed a despondent and lonely person jumping from the bridge to his death.

1. All I See (The Bridge)
2. I Wish
3. Denied

Up until 2014, My Life’s Despair was working on a full-length concept album regarding a possible apocalypse from a near-Earth asteroid found in 2004 named Apophis. The project was scrapped because Larshus didn’t feel it coming together well.

In 2014, Larshus reunited with longtime friend N. Sanity. They quickly wrote numerous songs and the band was rejuvenated. It is this time where My Life’s Despair became what it is today. N. Sanity takes on guitars with Larshus. This collaboration produced the self-released full-length CD, Invoked with Passion and Pain, on April 25, 2015.

1. As Flames Ignite
2. A Caress of Stars
3. Patterns in the Chaos
4. She Said Forever
5. No Hope for Tomorrow
6. Apparitions of the Sky
7. Regrets
8. Dream Dimension
9. In the Cosmic Laboratory

In January of 2017, My Life’s Despair signed with Ancient Mythos Entertainment. And in April of 2017, there was a follow up to Invoked. The single and official video, Hail Sorrow, was released on April 13, 2017, in anticipation of a full-length album later that year. The working title of that album is, To Death I Turn.

1. Hail Sorrow

~more to come~

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